Salesmen jokes

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Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.

He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope you'll be very happy there."

Rating: 3.0 |

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.
Doctor: Why is that?
Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

Rating: 3.4 |

"No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "That's fine," said the salesman, "I'm selling spectacles."

Rating: 3.8 |

Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale.
Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth.

Rating: 3.2 |

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object.
"What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked.
"It's a thermos," Mikey replied.
"What does it do?" they asked.
"Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
"What do ya got in it?"
To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Rating: 4.2 |

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